The No Style Times
"No Style At All" · Milwaukee, Wisconsin · December 1, 2000
Milwaukee Clock Shows Style
MILWAUKEE (November 27) A clock in the Historic Third Ward of Milwaukee showed style today. Its hands turned slowly in the light of the setting sun. The clock waited for no one.
Nearby patrons at the Coquette Cafe remarked on the clock's inexorable movement through time.
"It is part of the pace of life," patron Candy De La Rosa said, "for time to move, to wait for no one."
Petra Anglovna, eating sesame-seared sashimi-grade ahi tuna on a cool ocean salad with marinated soba noodles and a soy-ginger vinaigrette said she wasn't aware of the clock. "Oh," Petra said, "I didn't notice it."
Other diners expressed outrage. Jim Grudczeicki said, "The clock is irritating. All day long, the hands go around. When is the city going to do something about it?"
The clock was expected to continue on.
Fall Web colors include brown
PARIS (November 20) French Web designers today unveiled the latest style sheets of Europe in an extravagant show at the pyramid of the Louvre.
Style watchers were stunned to see brown used extensively in Web pages this season. While California-based Yahoo has long set the tone for Web page colors, the French designers exceeded the Americans with a bold use of brown.
"Brown represents the default color of the earth," said Lyon-based designer Ce Ce Be De Mille, "it just captures what the essence of the Web can be."
German designers were less enthusiastic about brown, having just suffered through pages of brown at the Berlin Open Web show the previous week. German Web pages this fall have all gone green. "The color of money," said Munich Web designer Tolo Weisbach.
The Paris show is expected to change the way people think about Web style, the promoters said.
Noted Web designer proclaims
SILICON VALLEY (November 27) Jakob Nielsen, author of Designing Web Usability: The Practice of Simplicity, dissed frames big time in his Alertbox column.
Nielsen admonished, "For new or inexperienced Web designers, I stand by my original recommendation. Frames: Just Say No."
There was no immediate word from Madonna.
Tidy Inventor Wins Four Nobel Prizes
STOCKHOLM (November 27) Dave Raggett, inventor of Tidy, was chosen this week as the recipient of an unprecedented four Nobel Prizes--in Peace, Physics, Chemistry, and Syntax.
Raggett's work on Tidy was hailed by the Nobel committee for its "outstanding contribution to world peace, the faster dissemination of knowledge, and general all-around neatness."
While Nobel watchers expected Raggett to get the nod for the Peace and Physics prizes, the Chemistry Prize was a surprise. Nobel Committee chair Hans Søren explained, "No one did that much in Chemistry this year."
The the new category of Nobel Prize in Syntax has sent shockwaves around the world.
The announcement that the Nobel Prize in Syntax will replace the Economics prize sent schools of economics into spirals of incredulity. "Have the Nobel folks lost their minds?" roared University of Chicago economics professor G. Tanny Windham.
When questioned near Stockholm city hall about the dropping of the Economics prize in favor of Syntax, Chairman Søren somberly intoned, "Take a look at Web pages out there. We need better syntax. Not more useless economic theories."